Do you bring your whole self to work? And what does that even mean?
According to Mike Robbins, a TEDx presenter and researcher on human experiences in the workplace, bringing our whole selves to work means “… showing up authentically, leading with humility, and remembering that we’re all vulnerable, imperfect human beings… It’s about having courage to take risks, speak up, ask for help, connect with others in a genuine way, and allow ourselves to be truly seen.”
Robbins goes onto to say “When we don’t bring our whole selves to work we suffer – lack of engagement, lack of productivity, and our well-being is diminished.”
What Robbins says resonates with my own experience too. I have observed how integrity, courage, heart and genuine humanity both connects and enables people – and how the absence of it can impact trust, productivity and happiness.
If being your whole self brings so many benefits, why the hell aren’t we doing it all the time?
The short answer is fear – specifically, the fear associated with being vulnerable. So what is vulnerability?
“The definition of vulnerability is uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. But vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our most accurate measure of courage.
When the barrier is our belief about vulnerability, the question becomes: ‘Are we willing to show up and be seen when we can’t control the outcome?’
When the barrier to vulnerability is about safety, the question becomes: ‘Are we willing to create courageous spaces so we can be fully seen?”
Brené Brown, Braving the Wilderness
Once we embrace who we truly are and live that with honesty and vulnerability, the attributes that Robbins refers to start to flow naturally, regardless of the environment. Believe me, who you are will delight those around you, and if you’re ready to dig into this right now, I can help.
Question: Do you feel you bring your ‘whole self’ to work?
I once believed that I, without question, was my whole self at work. I spoke up, I was brave, I wasn’t fazed by unknowns – I was me! I recall saying “Nah, having a ‘work me’ and a ‘home me’ sounds like hard work – like you’re wearing a mask… I’ll just be me all the time”.
As luck would have it, around that time I was asked to share a personal story on why I had remained so engaged, dedicated and energised at the same workplace for such a long time. When I thought about it, I realised it was due to one very big life event – when my father died.
However, I realised that I had never really sat back into the story I was about to share… especially at work. I admit, I was somewhat overcome with the unprocessed emotion. I thought… “Shit. Am I going to cry in front of everyone??”. This thought was followed quickly by a question I’ve seriously never asked myself when it comes to public speaking… “Can I do this?”.
The time came to talk, and I was invited with a warm smile to the stage in front of close to 100 people. My heart was more than pounding, it was thumping out of my chest! My was mouth is dry. My voice thickened and quivered.
I started with a joke and moved to sit on the stage. I forewarned everyone that I’ll not be presenting in my usual way, and I’d be reading. I also warned them it’s a sad story.
I ask everyone “Have you ever stopped to ask yourself: Why do I work here? Why do I care?”.
I then I shared the sad story of my Dad’s fast decline in the clutches of Mesothelioma.
I shared how my team mates rallied around me. How I found chocolates in my locker with a note saying they were thinking of me, cups of tea on my desk, and a massage voucher.
I shared how my manager allowed me to take more leave than I had to spare, so I could to fly from Melbourne to Brisbane then catch a train to their country town on the Sunshine Cost to give Mum a break and see Dad every 3 to 4 weeks.
I shared how my workplace enabled me to work remotely, and in the end, drop everything to catch the last flight, making it to Dad’s hospital bedside just hours before Dad passed away.
It was the support, from my team mates, my manager and the company that in turn created a powerful stickiness that eventually spanned 14 years.
I remember after the talk I felt a little embarrassed that I’d almost ugly-sobbed in front of my team mates and leaders – and when I say almost, there were a few long pauses, where I battled to keep it together! And yet my overwhelming feelings were those of being lighter, more self-aware, and somehow, ‘switched on’.
“Through being vulnerable, I found I was connected to my colleagues in a way I hadn’t felt before – they could see a side of me that had previously been hidden away, and they liked it. I liked it too.”
Carla Khoo, founder of My C3 Careers
I realised that through being vulnerable – really truly ‘out there’ – I discovered something about myself that no one else could show me. I learnt that I indeed had a ‘work me’ – I indeed wore a mask.
It left me wondering, where did that mask come from? Is it off now? I pondered that question for a time, as being authentic is really important to me… did this mean I wasn’t authentic? Crikey!
And then it hit me. This is what it is to be imperfect. As Robbins said, “remembering that we’re all vulnerable, imperfect human beings” is key to bringing our whole selves to work and home. #AchievementUnlocked!
So how do you embrace your unique vulnerability?
- Do some research: Thanks to the hard work of people like Mike Robbins and Brene Brown (and so many others!!), there is loads of self-driven information available on the internet – if you haven’t watched Brown’s TED Talk “The Power of Vulnerability, do it (now!).
- Get in touch with me: My C3 Careers can help you find your whole self. Though a combination of enquiry techniques and strength tools, I work with my clients to uncover their true self – their skills, motivations, hobbies, non-negotiables and dreams. It’s brave work, with lots of laughs, and sometimes some tears. On the other side, clients understand the greatness of who they are right now, and how they can use that to get to where they want to be. If you’re ready to uncover your whole self, check out my services page, or getting in touch.
“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable;
to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.”
Criss Jami, philosopher
References:
Forbes – Bring Your Whole Self To Work, Henna Inam
TEDx: Bring Your Whole Self to Work, Mike Robbins
Brene Brown
my C3 careers 